A word

Sunlight rains down, the clouds part, and a medieval trumpeter toots a triumphant jingle. It’s finally here, the answer to a question on almost nobody’s lips, “When is Jake just going to start a movie blog?” 

Yeah, I don’t know what this is going to be, whether it’s a movie review site or some sort of menagerie for whatever I feel. Probably I’ll just add or tweak one UI item each time I add a post so it doesn’t feel like such a chore and the site is eventually pretty looking.  It’ll be fast and loose, folks, but I do take comfort in the complete lack of judging eyes on this ‘fart in the wind’ of mine.

Here’s a fun game: I’ll list some bits and segments I’ve had rattling around and later we can all look back at what I never got around to.

• An article about how reviewing Peter Sellers’ Being There (1979) is kind of missing the point.
• A retrospective on the Creature From the Black Lagoon trilogy (1954-1956) and its often accidental tragicomic genius.
• Corollary to that, a snugly adjacent review of Del Toro’s The Shape of Water (2017), in which I try my best to explain my love for this goofy footnote of fish-scented Americana. Spoiler: I love that movie, it’s immaculate.
• One painfully biased and unnecessary review of David Lynch’s Dune (1984) some time before Duneis Villeduneve comes and elevates it to something you could hang in the Louvre.
• An entire series where I take a look at different schlock horror franchises that went on for so long they became funny, then sad, then awesome and funny. I’m talkin’ bout Critters, I’m talkin’ bout Tremors, I’m talkin’ bout Leprechaun, Hellraiser,  Trancers, you name it. (Mostly though, I have this theory about thirds and fourths and why they always seem to be the installment where they go to outer space.)
• A character actor spotlight series.
• Something -anything- about Twin Peaks.

That’s already more than I’ll ever get to so in the meantime I’ll point you to Something Awful’s now discontinued Current Releases movie review rotation. These things were the bomb. One highlight I can’t recommend enough is their review of Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer in which reviewer Martin R. Schneider draws the short straw and the only way he can cope is by reading it as a Dadaist takedown of film itself. It’s possible you get something similar looking on my blog, but also maybe not.

Hi mom.